The news is not good...

I was scheduled for my 10 week appointment which is considered the first official prenatal visit. I had a feeling that I had miscarried but wanted to get the confirmation from my doctor. Deep down I had wished that my doctor would tell me that the baby's heartbeat sounded great and everything was on schedule!
The night before was probably the worst day of my life. There are no feelings that I could describe that would convey the pain that I went through. It started at 7pm and I had so much pressure pushing down on my pelvic bone. I couldn't leave the bathroom. Thirty minutes later when I thought that I was done with the bathroom I would turn right around and go back. I had mixed thoughts... I didn't want to make myself believe that I was going through a miscarriage.... Thirty minutes goes by... I hoped that it was because I had major constipation and cramps and that if I went I would be over... Another thirty minutes went by and the pain just got worse. I tried really hard to go and a gush of blood came out along with multiple blood clots and what seemed to be a shriveled mini cucumber (the placenta). The pain immediately went away and was as though nothing had ever happened but my heart sank... I was in complete shock and there were so many things that fluttered through my head. This can't be it... maybe there's still something inside me... was it a twin...?
I went to my scheduled appointment the next day and then it was confirmed... I did have a miscarriage and tears just started coming out. I was filled with so much emotion... sad, mad, upset, jealous, anxious..... Sad because this was supposed to be happy times, mad because this was not supposed to happen to me, upset because I really wanted this, jealous because everyone around me are having babies with no troubles of conceiving or was unplanned, anxious because I want to start a family.....
I had gone through a "natural miscarriage" where the placenta makes it out on its own without any medical attention. In some cases if a miscarriage occurs and the uterus needs to be cleaned out a surgical procedure would have to be performed called D&C (dilation & curettage). Dilation is the opening of the cervix and curettage is the cleaning of the uterus.
Hopefully all of the contents naturally pass on it's own and that I make a natural recovery. I had to schedule an ultra sound to make sure that everything is cleared out...