Sunday, March 20, 2011

I feel like I was stabbed in my heart!

I thought things mentally were getting better for me. I thought that I learned to except that things do happen for a reason and everything will work itself out. Until I heard the news.... my sister-in-law and brother-in-law had a surprise for everyone.... They said that they found out that they were about 6 weeks pregnant! This was so early to tell anyone... I learned this the hard way... I can only wish that they will have a healthy full term...

I was in complete shock... I was excited... then I was upset... then I was heart broken... but then having to be excited on the outside for them. It hurts to see what should have been me... I was never so angry... I don't know who to be angry at and maybe it's frustration fighting it's way out of my soul being but.... I-Just-Feel-So-Angry!

How do you react to such a miracle after experiencing one of the most devastating times in your life! Let me just remind you that it is now 2 weeks and 5 days since we said goodbye to what was our precious miracle....


  1. Hey! I found your blog on JM and just have to comment on this.

    It is A OK to be upset. I really do feel your pain the week that I started miscarrying my sister in law told me that she was expecting. Only about 4 weeks along. The same sister in law who cant take care of the one she has and is with her on again off again baby daddy.

    Of course it is upsetting to learn this. I can take care of another and cherish the one I have yet mine was taken from me and she was so easily given another. It hurts it really does and it is normal to feel the way you do!

    Please let me know if you ever need to talk. Seems like we will have alot in common.

    AddysMom24 - on JM

  2. Thank You Shanda! "Seems" is not the word.... it's more like definitely have a lot in common. I think that I need more time before they announced their big news...