Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I am going through with the test and will let my Dr know on my next appointment on January 11th.
In my fantasy I see a just world,
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of souls that are always free
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.
In my fantasy I see a bright world,
Where each night there is less darkness.
I dream of spirits that are always free,
Like the clouds that float.
In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That blows into the city, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul
Thursday, December 22, 2011
So on 12.21.11, I had an appointment with my Dr to talk about the results and after waiting in the waiting room for one hour and a half I get called to the back and have my weight measured and the nurse asked me what I was in for... asked when my last menstrual cycle was... didn't take my blood pressure... Mind you that this is my fourth visit and I felt like this was my first visit... I waited again for 20 min for my Dr to come in without any of my records and looked tired and said in a laid back tone... "well... everything looks good...." long pause... I had to ask questions to proceed like how was the ultrasound results and he had to leave the room to get the records..... Then I asked what the next step was.... it was a bit frustrating but I guess for some they like that laid back type of Dr's... I just hate starting over trying to find "the" Dr but I will have to if I don't feel the connection.
Monday, December 12, 2011
So a recap of my beta numbers are:
11.28.11 = beta: 76 / progesterone: 20 (about 13 dpo)
12.02.11 = beta: 415 (about 17 dpo)
12.06.11 = beta: 2349 (about 21 dpo)
12.12.11 = beta: 20,012 / progesterone: 18.1 (about 27 dpo)
I have a scheduled blood work for progesterone result today so hopefully that number stays were it needs to. I'm still not out of the deep waters yet but I feel like I'm swimming closer to shore. I have an Ultrasound scheduled for this Friday to date the pregnancy. For some reason I fell like it's too early for that because I figure I'm at about 6 weeks today....Friday I would be 6 weeks and 5 days.... My SIL had her Ultrasound when she was about 9 weeks... I'm guessing that it would be best to find out early but with my last loss I started spotting a few days after the ultrasound which led to my miscarriage.... I know people say that the ultrasound should not effect the baby but I'm so nervous if this will happen again... I would be so upset.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
I was so excited and went in on Monday for my bloodwork for my beta and progesterone levels. Made the appointment to see my Dr for Wednesday but he was booked so I then made the appointment to see the Midwife instead. I wanted to go in as soon as possible to make sure that I can ensure a healthy pregnancy. The midwife, Shirley, saw my results from the bloodwork and didn't seem impressed with the numbers. She said that my progesterone was 20 which was good but my Beta level was too low from now to the time of my last cycle (10.26.11). At 4.5 weeks I had a beta level of 76. In a way she was telling me that this was not a viable pregnancy and even though the "stick" showed positive the bloodwork numbers were too low... So she tells me. My heart dropped and my excitement turned to saddness... But how could she have known just by looking at the first set of betas? I have go in for more bloodwork Friday and then again on Tuesday and then make an appointment to get my results. I'm hoping that this number doubles the way that it's supposed to. They say that your Betas are supposed to double every 48 hours. I guess it may have been standard policy for her to say "if you start bleeding... you will need to go in to the emergency room". Like that was supposed to make me feel any better leaving the office. Please Let This Be My Christmas Miracle!
Monday, November 14, 2011
I may have to consider IUI....
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Cross your fingers ladies... Where are you "O"?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I thought that this would help some of you of what to find what you need in prenatal vitmains.
Look for one that includes approximately:
400 mcg of folic acid
400 IU of vitmain D
200 to 300 mg of calcium
70 mg of vitamin C
3 mg of thiamine
2 mg of riboflavin
20 mg of naicine
6 mcg of vitamin B12
10 mg of vitamin E
15 mg of zinc
17 mg of iron
(The numbers can possibly change based on the additional information that I find)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
My appointment was for 2:45pm and when I got there I had to fill out all the paperwork that is required for new patients. There were so many forms and took a while to finish and the wait was so long. I was able to watch the full hour of "The Ellen Degeneres Show" (I truly love her show) which started at 3pm. This means that I was sitting in the waiting room for a good hour till I got called to the back waiting room but at least I was able to watch the 1300th episode of Ellen :D. I had the usual weigh in and blood pressure taken and then waited for another 20 min in the exam room....
The nurse asked me if I had any records that I took from my previous doctor's office and I said no because I figured that they would have done that. The Doctor came in to see me with no records to go off of. I had a feeling that something like that would have happened so before I came in for the appointment I printed out my BBT charts from the past few months and created a timeline of my cycles and the miscarriage (I know.. what a nerd right?) He said based on what I provided it seems as though I have a luteal phase defect causing the anovulatroy cycles. He said that he won't know for sure till he receives all of the records from my previous doctors. As for my miscarriage he said that I might have needed some assistance with the use of progesterone suppository but again he needed to see my past records. :( All I provided were the HCG levels not thinking that the progesterone levels were of any importance. So ladies ask for both when you get your bloodwork during the phases of your present/ future pregnancies....
When I asked if the light spotting at CD44 (which lasted for 12 days) was the start of a new cycle he said no assertively saying that it's the remnants remaining in the lining of the uterus.
He suggested that I start of with Provera to jump start my cycle and follow up with 150mg of clomid to jump start ovulation again.
There was no physical exams taken so I hope that is normal for a first Doctor visit.
Fingers crossed for me! Let's hope that he can help me figure out where the missing screw is.....
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Fingers Crossed and hope that my September 7th appointment date turns out to be a smooth transition.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Here's some things that I've read....
A woman may gear up to ovulate more then once in her cycle but not actually ovulate each time. Sometimes a woman will have an ovulation test show up positive more than once during her cycle; however, a positive ovulation test does no guarantee that ovulation will occur. Women can gear up to ovulate and then not actually release of an egg.
If you notice multiple patches of ewcm on your chart but your temperatures do not show a clear thermal shift then you may be having anovulatory cycles. What this means is that your body is trying to ovulate, which is why you are seeing the patches of ewcm, but for some reason you are not ovulating. During a typical ovulation chart you will see ewcm followed by a temperature shift and a drying up of cervical mucous. You should feel dry after you ovulate. This is one way to confirm that ovulation has occured. If you are having patches of CM but you are not seeing a clear biphasic chart, it could mean that you are not ovulating.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
I hope that you don't judge me but I just need to get it out of my system.
It started out that my DH brother married his wife after meeting her for less then a month combined. They got married in the short period of time but none the less I was very happy for them. She came to the US and then I find out that her Birthday is two days before me (July 10th and mine is July12). So the birthday's could have been a bit more seperated. Then I find out that she is in a similar job related field. Then she started to get all touchy feelly over my DH (really get your paws off my man) I asked my husband if he realized it and he did but thought it was an Australian thing. So he told her that he felt uncomfortable. Really she should be touching her man and leaving mines alone. Then she started to dress my brother in law like my husband!!!!! For one.... my DH is more to age and his brother has his own style that when you see him dressed differently you startt o wonder. My borther in law was complaining about how his pants were fitting and that she had picked it out for him..... She told me that she and her DH were having issues and that they were not going to start a family anytime soon.... My DH and I announced that we were expecting ( this was before March before my MC) and we announced it by doing scrabblr like pieces and having them solve it to say "We're pregnant". She said "I was going to do this when I tell everyone that I'm pregnant!" (um... Yeah you were). We were so excited because this was going to the first grandkid on both sides of the family! Two weeks later I miscarried they announced at a family dinner that they were expecting... TWO WEEKS later after my loss!!!!! My miscarriage was still in my mind and she announced to everyone not even 6 weeks... I mean she didn't even have her ultrasound yet..... Maybe she would feel a little sensitive to my feelings... Guess not! She did say that she was not ready and that she had to resolve some issues with her husband... What happened to that? Maybe there is a little competition???? Or is it my evil side thinking this? She said to me...."you know... we weren't even trying" I was sooooo livid!!!! Go ahead and rub it in my face!
To add a cherry to the top of all this.... before the whole pregnancy ever happened we had a casual conversation of what we would name our kids.... I told her that we had already picked out a boys name and when we said it she said "I was going to name my son that!" (Oh Hell No.... Is Jayden really common????) So now fast forward to today.... she is going to find out the sex of her baby and if it's a boy I would like to see what she would name him..... Whatever happens.. boy or girl.... this will be mny niece/ nephew... and I can't hate that!
I can't believe that I can't brush this off my mind.. It's been three month but I still feel so bitter.....
Thanks for reading/ listening! I really needed to vent and let this all out or I would just burst!!!!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
This article was posted on WebMD at the following location:
BUT..... Here are a few points from that article that are good points to keep in mind....
A few things involved for fertility charting are:
- Taking your basal body temperature,
- Examinging your cervical mucas,
- Noting when your menstrual period began and
- Noting when you had sexual intercourse.
Tips for taking and understanding your BBT:
- Begin taking your temperature on the first day of your period.
- Take it about the same time everyday, preferably before you get out of bed in the morning.
- Don't do anything-- eat, drink, smoke, or even move around before you take your temperature.
- You can take your temperature however you want- orally, rectally, or vaginally- but make sure you use the same technique each time.
- Write down your temperature every day on your fertility chart; you can make a graph with each day of your cycle on the bottom and temperature on the left, connecting the dots as you go.
- Keep in mind that you will probably get some occasional freak readings - either high or low temperatures - that don't fit into the larger pattern. If they don't happen often, don't worry about them.
Days 6-9: Vagina is dry with little to no mucus
Days 10-12: Sticky, thick mucus appears, gradually becoming less thick and more white
Days 13-15: Mucus becomes thin, slippery, strechy, and clear, similar to the consistency of egg white whites. This is the most fertile stage.
Days 16-21: Mucus becomes sticky and thick again
Days 22-28: Vagina becomes dry
Keep in mind that your body cycle will probably differ from this pattern.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
I told her that it's not that I could have done anything or could have controlled my miscarriage. I don't think she knew how much it hurts me for a comment to come my way....
It's not as easy as we all hoped it would be....
Friday, April 29, 2011
(Do not read any if you can't handle graphic details...)
03.03.11 - had a natural miscarriage
03.11.11 - HCG=220; The bleeding stops
03.18.11 - started spotting
03.21.11 - HCG=19
03.25.11 - Started to temp; the spotting stops
04.08.11 - HCG=0; The spotting starts
04.10.11 - Considered as first day of cycle (much heavier then normal)
04.29.11 to present - Still spotting and worried... why is this spotting still here? (Don't answer that)
05.20.11 - First day on birth Control Pills (Beyaz)...
05.23.11 - Spotting stops... That's right... you followed that right.. I was spotting for about three weeks till this point....
06.08.11 -My cycle starts off very light
06.13.11 - My cycle is medium (I considered this day to be my start of the Flow)
06.15.11 - My cycle starts to be heavy
06.17.11 - Started my second month of BCP (Beyaz)
06.19.11 - Last day of my cycle
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I got a text from my sister-in-law saying that she got the results from her blood test and said that she was at 10 weeks and everything looks healthy! That's definitley good to hear but a month and half ago at my ten weeks I was in pain and on the ground going through my loss. I thought that I had a grasp on my feelings but it keeps on resurfacing.... It really hurts...
Friday, April 15, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I thought things mentally were getting better for me. I thought that I learned to except that things do happen for a reason and everything will work itself out. Until I heard the news.... my sister-in-law and brother-in-law had a surprise for everyone.... They said that they found out that they were about 6 weeks pregnant! This was so early to tell anyone... I learned this the hard way... I can only wish that they will have a healthy full term...
I was in complete shock... I was excited... then I was upset... then I was heart broken... but then having to be excited on the outside for them. It hurts to see what should have been me... I was never so angry... I don't know who to be angry at and maybe it's frustration fighting it's way out of my soul being but.... I-Just-Feel-So-Angry!
How do you react to such a miracle after experiencing one of the most devastating times in your life! Let me just remind you that it is now 2 weeks and 5 days since we said goodbye to what was our precious miracle....
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The outlook was good. There was no trace of tissue (I can't remember the exact terms but pretty much it means that everything is clear). The only thing that I need to be concerned with was if my hcg/ beta levels would drop back down to zero. From my last blood test on 03.11.11 my levels were at 220. My next scheduled blood test is for 03.21.11 so hopefully time will help me.
What was explained to me was that once my hcg/ beta levels drop to zero my cycle should start in about 4 weeks. My doctor wanted me to wait for two cycles to even start trying to start a family.
Could I even wait? It seems that it's all about time these days....
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
My doctor's office called me to say that my beta levels has dramatically reduced and that they want me to come in on thursday for another blood test. What I want from the blood test results are for my beta/HCG numbers to be zero. This is where I should be in order for my body to allow me to ever get pregnant again. Hopefully it won't take weeks for me to recover. (TMI... my bleeding has slowed down and hardly any clotting.) Which is a good thing because this would mean that my body has pushed out a majority of the tissue from the miscarriage. In order for them to know for sure I would have to have an ultrasound which I scheduled for next week, 03.14.011. The same place where I went two weeks ago for them to congratulate me for getting pregnant... :(
Friday, March 4, 2011
The night before was probably the worst day of my life. There are no feelings that I could describe that would convey the pain that I went through. It started at 7pm and I had so much pressure pushing down on my pelvic bone. I couldn't leave the bathroom. Thirty minutes later when I thought that I was done with the bathroom I would turn right around and go back. I had mixed thoughts... I didn't want to make myself believe that I was going through a miscarriage.... Thirty minutes goes by... I hoped that it was because I had major constipation and cramps and that if I went I would be over... Another thirty minutes went by and the pain just got worse. I tried really hard to go and a gush of blood came out along with multiple blood clots and what seemed to be a shriveled mini cucumber (the placenta). The pain immediately went away and was as though nothing had ever happened but my heart sank... I was in complete shock and there were so many things that fluttered through my head. This can't be it... maybe there's still something inside me... was it a twin...?
I went to my scheduled appointment the next day and then it was confirmed... I did have a miscarriage and tears just started coming out. I was filled with so much emotion... sad, mad, upset, jealous, anxious..... Sad because this was supposed to be happy times, mad because this was not supposed to happen to me, upset because I really wanted this, jealous because everyone around me are having babies with no troubles of conceiving or was unplanned, anxious because I want to start a family.....
I had gone through a "natural miscarriage" where the placenta makes it out on its own without any medical attention. In some cases if a miscarriage occurs and the uterus needs to be cleaned out a surgical procedure would have to be performed called D&C (dilation & curettage). Dilation is the opening of the cervix and curettage is the cleaning of the uterus.
Hopefully all of the contents naturally pass on it's own and that I make a natural recovery. I had to schedule an ultra sound to make sure that everything is cleared out...
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
I pee'd on a stick because I was so curious...
Still had two lines!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My husband called his mother for a friendly hello and to see how things are going. She asked him how I was feeling and he said that we were going to schedule for our first ultrasound next week. Exciting times! She started lecturing him that we shouldn't be going to the doctor's office so much. That they just want your money. My husband was trying to explain to her that his company has good coverage and that should not be a problem. She then continued to tell him that we should probably see the doctor when I'm about 4 month in and at that point once a month. Let's see... My doctor told me to schedule for my first ultrasound to hear the first heartbeat and my mother in law is saying that it's too early and that I shouldn't go.... Which advice would you follow? My Doctor of course! She grew up in another country with little medical attention and where money was very tight. She said that she had three kids with no problem. Well that is great news but that would not stop me from following doctor's orders. All she seemed to care about was the money issue for the medical insurance. She told her son if you run out of money by the time you have your baby don't try to ask her for any. Like we were going to anyway. For one, we will not need it because we have great coverage and two, I would never go to them for money even if I was to the last dime. She hung up on my husband before they were done talking because she was so heated. She wouldn't pick up the phone when he tried to call back. All because I was seeing the doctor more then she thought necessary. First baby for me and first grandbaby in the family! You would think that there would be more support then this!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Here's a nifty chart that a friend of mine suggested I look at.
You can see the chart a bit clearer on the original site below....
From all of the mommy forums and boards that I have joined I found out that I should be atleast 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. But the latest number places me at about 3 and a half weeks. Could I have severely miss calculated?
I just wish I could get scheduled for my ultrasound to actually know. And hence the waiting process begins....
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Can I get a "SUCCESS"......